I've got so many questions for you. But I have got no idea how to begin.

Maybe it's just a 'one-way traffic'.

I hate myself.

Bitches

I know no one reads my blog but I would still like to write some stuffs out.

'Bitches, the company pays you a salary to work, not to skype and bitch about someone else during working hours. Leave your bitching till you go home.'

Sorry for the outburst but... I just feel that there's too much injustice in this world. Pity my mum who has to go through that. That but by the grace of god could have been my previous work life. I'm just highly amused by the ability of humans, esp women, to be able to fabricate lies after lies with nothing but lies. Is there like some kind of adrenaline rush when you gossip about people? I can understand if the person you are gossiping about did something to you, but what if the person did nothing?

One thing I learnt about working life is: Everything you do, people gossip. Regardless of whatever role you play in your workplace. You can be the damn chiong one or the bo-cha one and still get pulled into this endless cycle of gossip. The only difference is whether you make the headlines for that day's gossip.

Upon entering the workforce, I knew that a hospital was more than it seemed. The public may see it as a place for dying, or maybe a 'dirty' place etc. That's nothing but surface though. In my whole 1 year 7 months there, I barely scratched past the surface and trust me when I say that a hospital is a place full of politics. So what role did I play amidst the war? I was the bo-cha one. I made it damn clear that I was there to work and I'm not interested in whether they liked me or not. Once I'm done, I leave. As simple as that. But still, I know that there has to be some gossip about me. Maybe of my 'black' face, or my coolness, or maybe my temper as well. But nonetheless, I couldn't care less. The good thing of having a 'black' face is that, people watch what they say in front of you. Gossips of me never reaches my ear. But gossip of other people always seemed to revolved around me. Might be due to the role I take I guess. Usually I'll just listen...but I believe in voicing your objections if someone says something untrue.

This is where I drag the men in. Most males will try and act like they are damn masculine. They will go to gym, and pump up those muscles, hoping to make the ladies think that they can provide them security etc. They act all high and mighty. But when the time comes for the men to really do something, they run and take cover before anything even happens. Where are your balls man?? Reflect upon it. You will realise that it's true.

I'm all for peace. Especially when it has nothing to do me. But how can you sleep at night knowing that you could have done something to help someone? I don't mean getting into a fight or whatsoever. You just have to state a point. I got dragged into something like that before.

When I was working, I knew a lot of my colleagues in my station didn't like this particular colleague of mine. They would bitch to me about her of course, and my stand was ' I wished they would stop' but I just kept quiet cause it wasn't really my problem. But one day, someone was complaining to me about that colleague and that they actually went up to my superior asking that they stop putting her in roles where she had to take charge. That was way too much. She asked me if I agreed. Overall I did agree with them, but the part with the superiors was totally uncalled for. Totally unnecessary. I just assertively said 'True, but don't you think you ought to give her more time? I'm sure she'll get better.'

You may think what the heck, what you said barely had any effect. True, I could have gotten into a whole argument etc but that's not what I want. I just wanted to let her know that I get what you mean and I understand your situation cause I'm not blind, but just give the girl some space. She's not a bad person, no one died under her watch. Just cut her some slack. She kept quiet after that. I don't think it was because she got my point. Think she just kept quiet cause she found out that I don't totally agree with her.

I know the endless cycle of office politics will never end. As long as there are humans, expect complicated and totally meaningless stuffs.

To that guy: Find your balls.

To those bitches: What goes around, comes around. It may not be tml, or next week or even next year. But one day, you WILL get it =)

Languishing

If you could only see
That I was not put here for you
To judge me and dispute my inner most truth

And after all these years of enmity, envy and tears
It's a shame you don't know me at all

I was wondering
Would you cry for me?
If I told you that I couldn't breathe
If I was drowning, suffocating
If I told you that I couldn't breathe

Those ancient buried recollections
We transform them and select them
You have yours, I have mine
That's fine
While we're too torn to heal
Our stitch has never disappeared
I have mine, you have yours
I'm sure

I was wondering
Would you reach for me
If you saw that I was languishing
I was wondering would you cry for me
If I told you that I couldn't breathe
If I was drowning, suffocating
If I told you that I couldn't breathe

Nothing

Amanda Wong thought she was anything but human. However she realised today that she was nothing but human.

I give up.

Fake eyelashes Rox!

Yozzy Yo...

Haha. OK, so what's new...

We went out to eagle bar last night. It wasn't in my plan as I actually had a meeting today at 9am!!

But well, daphne was like "I'll put on fake eyelashes for you" and that actually got me going. I've always wanted to know how it felt like and how I'll look like. Cause I know ppl like Xiaxue, she just adores her fake eyelashes. I guess I just needed to see the what's the whole thing about.

And so... It will have to start with the makeup. Let's say thank you to qimin. She has perfected her make up skill on my face. *claps for her and me as well for letting her practise =p*

Next, let's move on to the fake eyelashes. Daphne was the one who put them on for me. Those of you who know we well, you should know I'm a total noob to this kind of things... haha. It's a tough job and I've no idea how long we took in total. After putting on the one for my left eye, I went and took a look at my reflection, I almost fainted. I felt like a korean barbie doll. And it was very very obvious. As in like, the difference between pre and post fake eyelashes.

The end product. Don't mind the ugly skin. Just look at the eyelashes. Haha

My left eye after fake eyelashes.

The front viw of the left eye

Qimin and me after the whole process.

Photo taken in the toilet of eagle bar. Look at the difference between Right and Left eye.

Taken from above for a downward view. Ignore the beer =D

Again, Ignore the beer =D

Daphne and me. The person who put the fake eyelashes for ME!

Us in the toilet again... HAHA

After the whole thing, it's onto eagle bar for us. Now, after putting on such B-E-A-Utiful eyelashes, glasses is a big No-no. Therefore I went to the bar with no glasses at all. My whole night was a blur! The things I do for beauty.... Haha

Now I understand the whole thing about fake eyelashes. I realised that my eyes are very different. The fake eyelashes on my left eye was like going upwards but the one for my right was like going OUTward... I was like "Blame it on my parents" Haha. But well, it was nice! But it's quite a hassle to put on. The worse thing is, it will drop out after awhile, so you will need to bring your glue along. Mine stayed on the whole night though... Haha.

Well, I had fun. Even though it was blur and I kept having that constant fear that the fake eyelashes will drop out. Haha. But, what an experience!

Joee's Glowey Dom-dom

Hihi

Just gave daphne my URL... Can't scold her on blog anymore... Haha =p

Ok, what's new? Well, the last time I ended off saying that we were going to celebrate a friend's birthday. Everything was good except... MY FREAKING PRESENT DID NOT ARRIVE!!!!

Asshole.

It better come soon, or I'll freaking blast that website with countless of spam.

What's the prezzie? Joee's Glowey dom-dom. Not sure if you guys know what it is... but I reckon you all should know.

Was reading through all my previous entries. From the 1st post all the way to the most recent. Firstly, my blogging frequency sure haven't change. I'm such an infrequent blogger. Haha.

Another thing I realised was that, alot of things that I was bitching about in my blog, other than the major stuffs, the rest, I completely totally can't remember it at all. I can't remember who I was angry with and what happened. Geez... Short term memory.

But, though I'm an infrequent blogger, this blog, really did grow with me. From 1st year of nursing to working life in SGH and now, here in Aus. I've grown. While reading back, I started thinking back to our poly days. How we dreaded attachment etc. This blog, really helped to refresh my memory. How I felt during PRCP, how I felt while working etc.

Looking back at my working life, though it was a short 1yr 7months, I accomplished alot of things. I hated the way I was always 'thrown' into the 'big ocean' and forced to learn how to swim the hard way. I complained, I cried. I felt like giving up. However, I'm proud to be able to stand tall and face those memories cause I took every single shit life thrown at me, and I survived. As compared to my other colleagues, they took a longer time to learn. I guess it's just in me. The way I'll always complain and doubt myself, but never giving up without a fight, without knowing how far I can go.

Guess that will always be for I face life. Complain, doubt but never giving up till I gave my very last shot.

Better read my entry all over again... In case I said something I shouldn't have... Haha. Joking =)

One more thing while reading my previous post. Sarah, remember how I always said that I don't believe in happily ever after? Well, I don't completely believe in happily ever after, but I'm keeping a look out for it. My mum just gave me the green light to start dating =p

Night.

Thinking mood

Hihi,

I'm so happy with my blog skin. I changed it on my own... Yay! Finally, not having to rely on people to help me change my blog skin makes me feel so liberated =D

Well, after my last national day gathering, nothing exciting has happened. There's just going to be a birthday celebration tonight at 12am for someone's 21st birthday. Not sure how it will go... hope it will be good.

A piece of good news. I actually received advanced standing for bio this semester. I'm so happy. Not only do I save on the freaking school fees, I only have to sit for 1 paper at the end of the semester. Hooray! You won't believe the price for 1 biology subject for this semester. Freaking 2,407 Aus dollars. Should have thought of advance standing last semester... But oh well... Haha.

Went for my new elective lecture today. No longer doing 'Making sense of the movies' cause it really made no sense to me. I tried my hardest but well, hopeless. Anyway, I'm now doing this elective called 'Writing your own life'. Basically it's about writing. Though it's difficult, at least I understand what's going on. The lecture was on Memoirs. Writing of personal memoirs.

"How much is too much?"

"What's a taboo subject/s"

"How would you describe your 1st sensual/sexual encounter?"

Questions like these were asked during lecture. Well, it did get me into the whole writing mood. I never really thought of myself as a 'relationship' writer. I tend to like to merge friction and personal life together when I write. Or at least that was how I used to write. But ya... it was like a whole "neither right nor wrong" question and answer lecture.

Went outside to get a cake after lecture with my friend. There were so MANY cakes in that cake shop and every single one looked so NICE! We were like standing there for 10mins just deliberating on which cake to buy. Haha.

Well, still pretty much in the whole thinking mood today. All thanks to the lecture. Questions with no answer... or question with answersss.

But one thing for sure... I don't think I'll ever want to be a 'relationship' writer. Reason: I have got no clue what's going on. Things just got pretty weird around here. There's this guy and my friend whom we all thought had a thing for each other, but she thinks that another of our friend actually has a 'thing' for him too. Why do things like this always get so complicated? Haiz... Long story. First 2 not a couple but she goes to his room every night. The 3rd girl used to go to his room quite frequently but after she realized that there's a thing with the 1st 2, she stopped. Now that his birthday is here, these 2 girls are like totally putting everything in for this birthday... How weird can it get?? Geez.

Last question for lecture before we ended... "If you could ask one question, what would it be?"

I guess my question would be..." Is it still possible?"

xoxo

Happy National Day!!

Happy National Day peeps!! I know it's over already but well, just came back from a National Day gathering held by Singapore Society in La Trobe.

Let's start from the top:

9th of Aug is the National Day for Singapore. Though we are so far from home, every singaporean still remembers that today is our nation's 44th birthday. Therefore, a gathering was held by the Singapore Society in La Trobe to celebrate our nation's birthday.

The event started at 1945hrs local time which included registration and a speech by the president of Singapore Society La Trobe aka SingSoc. Me and my friends did not RSVP for this event, therefore we had to pay 15bucks for this event which consisted of dinner and live telecast of the parade.

2000hrs: The start of the long awaited dinner. Everything was perfect... well, pretty good. Can't really expect too much here.

Main Course

Hainanese Chicken Rice (Freaking Awesome!)

Char Kway Teow (Not too Bad)

Chicken Satay (Good!)

Fried Carrot Cake (Absolutely Horrible!)

Spicy Chicken Wings (Looks pretty good but I have no idea if it tastes good cause I didn't take those)

Mixed Vegetable (Average)

Drinks

Bandung (Yuck!)

Teh Terik (Yummy!)

Water (Better than Bandung. Hate Bandung >.<)

Dessert

Chendol ( Me no eat. Friends say too much coconut milk)

Now, what's a National Day Parade without the goodie bags? Well, due to some unforeseen circumstances, instead of sending 70 goodie bags over, the sponsors of SingSoc only sent 20!! Thus, in order to be fair, the 20 goodie bags were given away in a lucky draw, and.... *drum roll* yours truly won one!!! HAHAHA

Events leading to it:

President of SingSoc: We will now be giving out the 1st 10 of the goodie bags. Get your no. out. (mine is 032).

Me to friends: Oh... Look at the skydivers. Wonder how is it they ever land right where they are supposed to. (Background calling of 1st no.)

Friend to me: Ya... Wonder what happens if they land in the water. (Background calling 2nd no.)

Me to friends: *Lol* Ya, maybe they'll swim back to the parade. (Background calling 3rd no.)

My action after that sentence: Back to my food. (Background calling 3rd no. again)

Me: while eating...(background went '032' '032'??)

And I was like "did she call 032? That number sounds so familiar..."

Me: Look at my number... "Shit, it's me!!!!"

My hand flew up and I was like shouting "ME!!!!!" Unbelievable, I actually got the bag. =D

A few numbers after mine, another of my friend got the bag too. Unbelievable. 2 out of 3 of us got the bag in the 1st round. Of course, we started exploring what the bag had. Vouchers etc.

My Pink NDP Bag (Like the Lime Green better though =p)

The Bag can be transformed into that as well. Cool!

Goodies inside the bag: Vouchers, sweet, tissues. There's the heart shape light as well.

Upclose with the Mr Bean stick. Suppose to use this and hit the 'Hand' thingy for sounds =)

After the 2nd round of bag lucky draw, another of my friend got the bag too. 3 of us! We went in together and we all walked out with the goodie bags. How lucky! I won an extra Merlion Keychain (Above) as well cause I answered a question correctly during the quiz. =)

The Singapore flag that came together with the bag, is standing tall and proud on my bookshelf.

At 8.22pm (Singapore time) we stood up to say the pledge. Watching the whole parade from a place that's so far away from home, just makes everyone feel like going home. Watching it from home and watching it from a place away from home is a totally different feeling. You may be thinking "What's new about this year parade? It's the same as the last one" but for us, watching it miles and miles away from home, our thoughts are "Omg, look at the soldiers. Look at our PM etc" Suddenly, this parade that we have been watching for years, or for many of us who can't even be bothered to watch it back home, it just seems like we are just beginning to really WATCH the parade for the 1st time.

NDP songs that you can't be bothered singing, were sung loudly here. National Anthem and pledge that you can't be bothered to stand up to at home, we proudly do the opposite here. Watching a parade from a place away from home just gives you a warm fuzzy feeling. Looking at the background of where the parade was held, brought back fond memories. It's just so amazing how much you actually miss when you take things for granted and when you lose those things, and get to see it again, you start to look at it from a different perspective.

You may not understand the feeling of being away from home. You may not be able to fully comprehend the idea behind every NDP song. But for me, after watching the parade from foreign land, I totally understood now. I learnt that, even though my country is just a small, red dot, we speak singlish, we may not have the freedom to do certain things or behave certain ways and we may have limited land, but at the end of the day, that's home.

The grass always seem greener on the other side. But guess what, I'm standing from the other side and I'm telling you, maybe you should just take a look at the grass on your own side cause it's greener. Whatever I have over here, you have it over there. But you have something that I do not have, and that is the company of family and friends. This world is huge and it does have alot of things to explore. But at the end of the day, everyone of us, no matter where we are or what we do, at the end of the day, we'll just want to go home. For me, I found my home and I can't wait till I can go back home again. Have you?

Happy National Day.

Give Thanks!

Sorry, I know it's been a long time.

Back in Singapore now. But I'm just left with 10 more days!!! Why do time pass so quickly whenever you want it to slow down? Sighs...

Saw my results for the first semester about 10 mins ago. No I didn't fail any... which was surprising for me haha, but praise god =)

However, the first feeling that went through my mind was "Why am I doing all these again?" I started feeling really sad, really down. I just wanted to quit. I know I seek purpose in life but is this what I really want? I started to pray and I suddenly had the urge to visit a website that charmaine gave me years ago and I went and watched a clip entitled 'Life'. While watching, I was reading some comments and the Holy Spirit spoke to me "It's God's plan to prosper you so never doubt him. No doubt the path may be long and uphill, but be assured that Jesus is with you every step of the way." That just brought me so much comfort. Thank you Jesus =)

I may not understand my life, I may not understand my choices. I may not understand the path I take, I may not understand the things I do. However, I'm glad that He understands, cause to me, that makes me feel SO much better.

Thank You Jesus.

P.S. Lord, I take back what I wrote before I left. Please make the next 4 years fly by. Amen!

Happy~

Well, here I am again...

I'm supposed to be doing a summary for one of the enquires I have, but yet, here I am... 

Went out to buy a heater today, finally... So sick of waking up to a freaking cold room that is way colder than the corridor. Seriously, what's the point of putting a heater if it is equal to no heat at all?!! 

Was feeling nauseated this morning. No idea why. Maybe cause I went straight back to bed after breakie. And so not giving it enough time to digest. Anyway, I'm better now =D

Was looking through my friends blog. Sigh... I miss you guys so much. 

To Jian Hao: Thanks alot =D I let my friends listen to your singing and they were like really impress. They said that you can really sing and the next time u decide to record, please record it with video. But anyway, thanks alot, it just felt so sweet...haha. And yes, it did put a smile on my face =D

Btw, the school actually found my passport and guess what, I can re-use my old passport. Praise God. And yes, I have learnt my lesson =p

God bless

xoxo Amanda

Hihi, how have you been? It's been ages since I last blog.

Weather is getting colder and more windy with each passing day. Days are getting shorter as well. 

Life has been pretty ok here. The life all by myself. Taking responsibilities for my actions etc. Went out with daph, qimin and Ana yesterday. A day of shopping... Feet damn pain. And followed by a good korean dinner. Damn Good. The most satisfying meal I ever had since I arrived in melbourne in feb. Really good.

The only major thing that happened to me was that I lost my passport. I cried till like there was no tomorrow, but ya, I got it settled now. At least now I know how to get a new passport when I lose mine overseas... 

School is pretty ok I guess. Just finished all my 1st enquires. But there's more to come along =(

Was just reading pei xuan blog. Haha, miss you so much. Can't wait to see you. Please post lesser food pics alright, cause I can't eat them from here. Hope everything will go well for you in the ward. Maybe I'll see you in the next few months.... hmm *winks* 

Btw, I remember what's the antidote for morphine overdose- Naloxone

Haha, too bad she's not asking me. =p But glad to see you doing well =)

I seriously miss you guys. Will see you in a couple of months *winks* Maybe One fine day in the next few months, you will receive a call from me... haha. 

Take care, god bless

xoxo Amanda

hi

Wow, I just realized that I haven't blog in a long time. 

Lots of stuffs happened. Lots of feelings. Not feelings of homesickness, but more of feelings associated with the heart. It's not Mr Perfect in the previous post, but another guy. Seriously, we won't work out, but it's always like me, falling for people who I will never have a chance with. I know, I'm suppose to study. And trust me, I have been studying. Just need a little distraction from life you know. But ya, this distraction is really a distraction. 

Friend asking me to go out and drink again. Geez, I just drank yesterday, and now I'm drinking again?? I dunno. Ever since I came here, I have really been drinking. Think when I go back, we can have a bottoms up competition and I'll win... haha. Ok, I'm not proud of that. Alright, I got to go now. I'll blog again...I think.

Hi

Just saying hi again.

It's been a couple of weeks now, and I think I'm starting to kinda get used to it here. But I still want to go home. Lots of things to say, lots of feelings to express, but well...it will be a long story and I don't know where to start talking from. 

Joined this christian group called FOCUS and had my first meeting last friday. They are pretty nice people, and I met this guy there whom I call my Mr Perfect cause he's perfect in my eyes but oh well, that's just for looking cause he's seriously out of my league. 

Anyway, school will start on monday. No idea how it will be like. But at least I'm getting closer to getting home each day. 

Think I've been drinking alot since I reached here. Australian Favourite Past-time- Drinking Beer and party. Yup. Hope I don't get a beer belly soon =S

-Amanda

=((

Currently saying hi from La Trobe in Melbourne. It's 8.49am in the morning. Just had my breakfast.

Feeling really really down. Parents are leaving today. Cried till my eyes are puffy and all red. Now, I really have nothing. But I know the Lord is with me, and his presence never leaves me. And I know he will help me pull through until I live for Singapore.

Lord, grant me the serenity of mind, calmness of heart so that I will be able to study well.

Lord, you are my shelther, my provision and my healer.

Will be counting down till the day I leave for home...

=X

Hi...

I'm now having a backache from all those weighing of the luggage. Ever tried packing for 4 years? Not fun, don't ever try it. Serious.

Can you believe it?!? 1 more day.

I'm not going to say I hope 4 years pass quickly *Though I want it to*
I'm going to say...I will sit back relax and enjoy what life will throw at me for the next 4 years. Cause I know, if life throws lemon at me, Jesus himself will use the lemons and make lemonade for me to drink =) Amen.

So my friends, let's all sit back, relax and enjoy my next 4 years.

On the other hand... I'M GOING TO MISS SINGAPORE, ALL MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. AND I'M SO GOING TO MISS MY BED...

To all my friends...regardless of when we met, how we met, or the way we met, each and everyone of u created an impact in my heart, soul and mind. I will not be who I am today without each and everyone of you. To be honest, 4 years is really a very long time. So In case I don't ever get a chance to say it ever, I just want to say Thank you. Thank you for everything. That's the best I can express myself...

OK, that was the mushy-est thing I will ever say =p

Take care and God Bless

-Wong Amanda

Shalom

Here I am, in my MO room, waiting for abigail. Hope Sister will just hurry =/

I went for this La trobe thingy today. Some sort of like a orientation briefing before the real orientation in Australia. I saw the people who will be doing Podiatry with me. There's a total of 5!!! Can you believe it?? 5!!! So many sia. I thought there will only be like 2. And they are all A level holders. Think sponsored too. Haiz. Sitting next to all of them, I felt so plain, so common, so lowly, so pressured, so...stupid.

It's like a roller coaster of emotions. Excited, Nervous, Scare, Happy, Worried... I think I'm going crazy too. Think I'm more afraid of the situations my parents will be facing here than the things I will face there. Read the new? Companies may freeze or cut wages to get through this crisis. Only god knows How long this crisis will last... 4 years... A 4 whole years. Suddenly I feel like I'm so stupid, for choosing this path. It's like though I don't really like what I'm doing, I've been doing for 1 year plus. Though I keep to myself, Somehow, I just shine. (Thank you Jesus)

And so, I was reading Joanna blog. Her relationship with jesus is really strong. She really trust in him and really feels him. But for me, it's like half-half. But I know I got to trust, have faith. Trust that he will provide for me, not just the next 4 years, but when I come back to S'pore, I will be able to get a job. *Trust*

Pray for me alright? It's just so scary...it's like a rollercoaster. I'm starting to dread feb 12th.

Happy new year =)

Shalom.

Went out with some friends yesterday after work. I actually forgotten about the gift exchange and the present which I brought along was actually unsuitable for a guy if he was to choose it. And end up...Nevermind, long story. But in the end, he didn't get it. Charmaine did so, we can say she got the most expensive gift on the table =)

It was really fun, we haven't met up in a long time. And my dearest jihan is getting engaged on 13 March. Gosh, I can't believe it. Congrats my dearest. I'm so glad that you finally found your 'one and only'. I remember the times where you will always say that you will never fall in love etc. But now look at you my dearest, getting engaged soon. *Envy* Sighs... Congrats Jihan. =)

Too bad I can't be there cause I'll already be in Australia. But Nonetheless, My greatest, most sincere, most heartfelt congrats going your way.

Seeing all of us together again, after so long. I must say, we have really grown. We have seen 2 of our friends get married, and are now parents. And now jihan's engagement. I'm just eager to see who will be next. And once again, being together again, it just bring back lots of memories. Both good and bad.

Joanna crazy laughter, Sarah and that giggle. Charmaine and gen totally inseperable. Jihan looking as gorgeous as usual, and now more radiant. Etc. I guess, I'm still the same 'ol ,same 'ol,
quiet, keep to myself. Watch and listen.

I watched the movie 'Twilight'. It is SO romantic. Just so Romantic. Sighs. I once had a dream like that. A few years ago which I still remember clearly up till now. But of cause it was not the same scenario like the movie. In my dream, me and this guy was running away from vampires and I got the chance to escape. It's a long dream so I'll just say the end part. I managed to get into this cab and I was like in this carpark. I remember the guy asking me to get as far away as I can. So I wanted to go home to get my passport to go Malaysia. I told the driver to step on it. The taxi driver said ok and we were at the barrier there. And the driver said ' You should know, once we leave, we can never go back.' And I really stopped and thinked. I know he most probably have already become a vampire, but well. I just had this feeling inside me. And so in the end, I walked back to find him. For him, I was willing to become a vampire. And my dream just sort of slowly faded while the vampire was sucking my blood and I was looking at the guy I love. Haha.

Ya... some may say stupid, some may say romantic. But I dunno. Even in my dream, that feeling was so strong. If it was real life.... I would go to. *Stupid* I know.

In this new year of 2009, I don't know what will happen. But I'm just glad and thankful that I have Jesus to walk with me. He have really changed my life. I realised that I'm really starting to lean on him. Sometimes I tend to forget and rely on my own strength but he always guides me back to him. For the next 4 years, my trust is in him to be my provision, my strength, my wisdom and my life.

And before I end off. I realised something during our little gathering yesterday. I realised, if you had only made me feel like I was your one and only, and not make me feel like I was no different from the rest, maybe, just maybe we would have worked out. And so my wish for you (not sure if you will read this, and even if you read this, you may or may not know it's you but anyway...) My wish for you in the new year 2009 is to be bold, step forward and express yourself when you meet the one. Enough of guessing games. Be bold, step forward and express yourself ok? =)

Happy new year people =)