19/4/2012
Well, it's officially the 19/4/2012 now. Which means I very well into my last day here in Singapore. I'll be flying back to Melbourne on the 20/4/2012 and will most probably not be back till next year... Last 2 sleeps on my bed. SAD!
I've been in Singapore since Feb and I think that this time round, I've actually stayed the longest since I started school 3 years ago. It hasn't gotten any easy saying good bye...especially to him. In a way, it's the last year, and maybe the last time I'll say goodbye for long periods, but at the same time, it hurts so much. I wished that I can bring him along. I wish that someone will invent a teleporter tomorrow and we can teleport to be with each other every day. How can you be missing someone before even leaving?
He started school on monday. I know he's worried cause he hasn't set foot in a school for about 2 years... but I know he will be great. I just hope he remembers me... If you are reading this my dear, know that I have absolute faith in you! Jia you. I'm sad that you can't visit me this year, and I know you are sad too. But maybe next year if I'm still there and when my mum isn't there.
Last year, last round. Father, I place this year into your loving hands as well. I know you will continue to guide me, bless me and keep me safe like you have always been doing. It feels good knowing that you will be there with me every step of the way. With this knowledge, I know I'll do well in everything cause you are with me. Thank you Jesus!
Dear, I love you.
To me, JIAYOU!
Wow! How long has it been? More than a year I reckon. No one reads this blog but still, I like to pop in once awhile (meaning once a year) and read/update.
Well, 4th year this year. How fast can it be right? It feels like it was only yesterday that I was right here, in my bed, typing about my upcoming 1st year. Will be leaving for Mel on the 23rd of Jan. However, I'll be back in less than 2 weeks. I know I'll miss my dear... I'm already missing him =(
In a way, I'm both happy and sad that it's my last year. Happy that I no longer need to worry about things like accommodation, finances, air tickets etc and missing my dear and having to deal with our long distance relationship + time difference. Sad cause I'll miss my freedom, and need to start working. I learnt so much the past 3 years. Life-long lessons.
Been reading my blog from the very beginning. Boy, I've grown. Maple and audition were my everything back then. Really miss the times we will all play together. We've all grown. Grown older and apart. Now, one by one, ppl are getting married/being parents. Sighs... life...
Really interesting to read about my life back then. Everything was so...simple. True, there were worries but everything was simple and fun. We had our share of drama but it was fun. If I am given a choice to re-live my poly life, I definitely would. Besides, It wouldn't hurt that I now have the clinical knowledge so clinical test will no longer be a problem. Muhahaha.
It's really entertaining to read about some of the things I used to believe in. E.g Not believing in having my own "Happily ever after" cause someone like me will NEVER have one. I finally found one. It took us forever... but it's ok, we'll have happily ever after =D
Maybe the next time I re-visit my blog, I'll find this post highly entertaining and amusing too. Haha.
For this year, I'm going to put it in to Jesus loving hands. Please continue to guide me in everything and keep me safe. Bless everyone back home and my dear. I'll have faith in you =D
"I may not understand my life, I may not understand my choices. I may not
understand the path I take, I may not understand the things I do. However, I'm
glad that you understand, cause to me, that makes me feel SO much better.
Thank You Jesus. "
So much for boyfriend, so much for friends. When you are left with nothing, you'll realize that no one's left too.
When your tears start falling, no one will be here to catch them.
When your all alone, no one is around to give you a hug.
When life drags you to your knees, no one is around to give you a hand.
So fuck off with your fake concerns. When I really needed someone, there was no one. I'll live, I'll always live. I can always just take a U turn. I can blame no one for my stupidness. For my failure. But I'll walk my own path. Cause now I learnt. When you really need someone, there is ALWAYS no one.
I realized that I haven't blogged for a LONGGGG time. Haha.
Well, back in Aus as usual. Started my 3rd year. Trying to take things one step at a time. Weather today is really good. Bright, hot and sunny. Which is a good thing here cause according to the weather forecast, it will be cold tml.
Being away from him made me realized how much I miss him and how important he means to me. I've gotten so used to his presence being around me that I feel so distant and so lost without him next to me now. Really miss him so much... The distance...The stupid 3hrs time difference... I'm seriously wishing for daylight saving to come again so that the time difference can be shorten to 2hrs. You will be surprised how much difference an hr can make.
I really hope to say I'm doing something meaningful with my life, but I sure don't feel that way. I've hit a really dry season in my walk with Jesus, but I still believe that he's always here for me. I guess I just need to reinforce it more into my relationship issues now and my stupid,emo,crazy mind. =(
Miss you dear...
