Stormy Day

I guess...After a storm has passed, nothing can ever be the same again. It either change for the better or for the worst.

Had a really stormy day today, filled with dark clouds, typhoon, thunderstorm and blizzard. No, it wasn't really raining. Had sort of a quarrel with a friend today. Was something that I has bottled up for abt coming to 2 years, I guess I just couldn't stand it anymore. It seem like a lame point, and I know it was all my own thinking, my own fault etc. But maybe I'm just a selfish person. I don't know how to share.. Maybe I got too used with having my own things. Or maybe I'm just a very Ambitious person, maybe I just can't settle being in the middle, not being no.1. Or maybe I'm just in a plain bad mood looking for some trouble. Whatever the reason, My other friends said I ought to calm down first before advancing.

I felt that I didn't need to. Coz i felt that friends are like passing clouds. They stay awhile then they go. I told my other friend, that's how all my other friends have been, they come, stay, leave. I'm never one for communication and always voted last on popularity. But I blame no one. I dun blame heaven, or earth or my friends. I just think it's something I lack. Afraid of loneliness but never one to make the 1st move...I guess I'm like that. I never dare hope for too much in 1 person, coz u never know when they will make u disappointed. I tried before and I felt it. And guess what, I remember. And I guess from then on, I just live life as it is.

I know that after a storm, things will never be the same. They either change for the better or for the worse. Will it be better or worse, I dunno and neither am I interested in finding out. But whatever it is, good or bad, for better or worse, life must still...sadly...carry on.

P.S: Is this the time to lean into the arms of God? Guide me...