What will I be....?

Hi, it's me again. Have been doing alot of thinking recently. Thinking if I should go overseas, thinking about alot of stuffs etc. But at least I know one thing that I still want..And that is to leave that idiotic ward of mine.

Been doing alot of thinking recently on how I want my future to be. Was faced with options on either studying in Singapore or Australia. But the problem with Singapore is the tertiary education here is so inflexible. Anyway, I missed the deadline of NUS by one day. So guess it's pretty much set. Cause smu and sim only offers Social Sciences which is courses like Psychology etc. And frankly for me, Although I prefer Psychology to Socialogy, I don't really have a very keen interest in studying that. Parents were asking me to consider Pharmacology, but the thing is, the drugs seems to know me but I don't know them. I've got a feeling for Podiatry but I really wonder about the future of Podiatrist here in Singapore for the next 5-6 years. If I really do go, I'll be all alone for 4 years. Cause unlike some people, I don't have the luxury of having someone I know to go and endure 4 years with me.

But I do know one thing...If I ever have to leave, No one will know except my family. Hate me if you want but that's the way I want it to be.

Sympathy and Pity

Here I am, sitting in front of the computer, with a thousand and one things in my mind going through at the same time, and yet I can't find a place to start. From work to future, from past to present.

So much feelings locked up inside, I wished I could share. But I guess it's just me to always feel alot more than I let out. A tear was shed yesterday by me when she left us standing there yesterday. No one may know, but one tear just rolled out. Sympathy for the one who care, and pity for the one who left. Sympathy for the one who care, who have to stand there and take in every nonsense, and watch her leave us. Pity for the one who left, for not knowing what she left behind. A lot was risked by some people just for the sake of being together, but to have it end that way makes all that was risked in vain. Disappointed, hurt, angry. So, How do I feel? The moment she walked out on us, and left us standing there, the moment that tear rolled out of my eyes, she had already walked out of my life. That's how I feel.

Change can make people react in very weird ways. Maybe because she is leaving, that's why she reacted that way. Maybe I should leave this year too and see what will happen. Or maybe I should just leave and never return. Afterall my thinking should be the same like her's and that is I won't be missed. But lol, I'm sure she will be missed, but me...nah I dun think so. Haha.

Guess the lesson learnt is: Tolerance, and knowing when to stop your nonsense. Good night