Went out to celebrate Yh b'day yesterday. All of us won't be seeing each other for the next 6 weeks. Wonder how PRCP will be...hmm....
In a way, I saw something yesterday which made me kinda unhappy while we were celebrating her b'day. I couldn't get it out of my mind, and the more I think about it, the more unhappy I am about it. It's a really stupid thing, but it made me understand my position...Where is it that I stand and whether my opinion/s matter or not etc. And that people, is a very valuable learning experience to me.
"I saw, and I understand. Trust me, I'll know what to do. I understand my position and where I stand. I know which is the important one, and believe me, I'll keep all unhappiness to myself and spare you the agony."
To a certain extent, I'm kinda glad prcp is here. A new environment, new faces, it may just be a new start for me. Away from troubles etc.
I hope I can perform my best during prcp. And finally find the purpose of why is it that I am in nursing. Haha
Ok, you guys take care. Bb
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Just Forget It
Life is just so confusing... I never ever seem to know what is it that I want. Sometimes, I just hate myself. The way I hide everything, and the way I show everything. Why is it that I just can't seem to hold on to what I tell myself?
Why can't I be firm, cool and cold?
Why is it that so much seems to be bottled up inside but it just never wants to be let out?
Can a person cry due to too much confusion??
Why is it that when I want to cry, I just can't cry...I'm even deprived from crying now.
I'm so tired...Not becasue I didn't get enough sleep, but it's physically, mentally, emotionally tired. Won't it be lovely to fall into a deep sleep and never wake up. I hate the feeling of being stuck in-between...I hate the feeling of being confuse...I hate not being able to cry... I just hate myself lah...Haiz
I'm just glad everything is coming to an end...I really do. Tomorrow is a new day, so for those of you who even made an effort to read, no worries, I'll be fine. Even if I'm not fine, I'll be fine too.
Why can't I be firm, cool and cold?
Why is it that so much seems to be bottled up inside but it just never wants to be let out?
Can a person cry due to too much confusion??
Why is it that when I want to cry, I just can't cry...I'm even deprived from crying now.
I'm so tired...Not becasue I didn't get enough sleep, but it's physically, mentally, emotionally tired. Won't it be lovely to fall into a deep sleep and never wake up. I hate the feeling of being stuck in-between...I hate the feeling of being confuse...I hate not being able to cry... I just hate myself lah...Haiz
I'm just glad everything is coming to an end...I really do. Tomorrow is a new day, so for those of you who even made an effort to read, no worries, I'll be fine. Even if I'm not fine, I'll be fine too.
Monday, March 12, 2007
12/3 8.26pm
Hi, just came back home. Was in sarah's place today. Well, no studying done as usual...lol
Past few days a few things happened. In a way, I kinda expected it would have. Well, at least all those roller coaster of emotions are gone.
If you happen to read this, this is what I want to say to you:
Don't blame yourself too much on what happened. True, you started it when everything was going on fine, but in a way, treat it as a learning experience. You didn't make me very upset, neither did you broke my heart terribly. True, it still hurt though nothing happened between us, but I'm sure I'll carry on with my life. I really hope you will bear in mind that thing I said to you. Things like this can only happen once. In fact, now I feel as though nothing had happen at all, and I'm no longer that upset anymore. As for that broken heart, don't worry it was like only 10% broken, and it's healed now. True, you did owe me an apology, but I think you apologize enough, so stop saying sorry. In a way, you showed me that love isn't all that beautiful and lovely, and it is also through this thing that I realized the importance of my family and friends. You are a good guy and a great friend. So, it's time to let go of the past and let bygones be bygones.
~Amanda
I really thank you guys for being by my side during this time. And sarah, you were right in 1 thing :Guys are Whatever, Friends are Forever =)
As for things like relationships/love etc...I have enough for now.
In things like this, I know it will happen ~In His Time~
Past few days a few things happened. In a way, I kinda expected it would have. Well, at least all those roller coaster of emotions are gone.
If you happen to read this, this is what I want to say to you:
Don't blame yourself too much on what happened. True, you started it when everything was going on fine, but in a way, treat it as a learning experience. You didn't make me very upset, neither did you broke my heart terribly. True, it still hurt though nothing happened between us, but I'm sure I'll carry on with my life. I really hope you will bear in mind that thing I said to you. Things like this can only happen once. In fact, now I feel as though nothing had happen at all, and I'm no longer that upset anymore. As for that broken heart, don't worry it was like only 10% broken, and it's healed now. True, you did owe me an apology, but I think you apologize enough, so stop saying sorry. In a way, you showed me that love isn't all that beautiful and lovely, and it is also through this thing that I realized the importance of my family and friends. You are a good guy and a great friend. So, it's time to let go of the past and let bygones be bygones.
~Amanda
I really thank you guys for being by my side during this time. And sarah, you were right in 1 thing :Guys are Whatever, Friends are Forever =)
As for things like relationships/love etc...I have enough for now.
In things like this, I know it will happen ~In His Time~
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Updates
Hi there, Finished one test today at ard 7.10pm. I'm just glad it's over
Today before the test had to go for 2 talks. One on hospice, the other was an exit briefing.
The 1st one brought back some memories...It was sad. The memories just came, and it really made me feel like crying. But as usual, I'm good at controlling. It was sad...maybe I still haven't let go like I thought I did but the past is the past. Sometimes I wish I can just be well...cold and heartless...to take things as they are and throw it down without looking back. I know of someone who can do that, but lol, I can't. A friend told me, that it isn't a good thing, and I should be proud I'm not like that. So even though it isn't a good thing...It can definately save me alot of heartaches. LOL, coz I will be heartless.
Recently somethings happen. It took me alot of courage. But by god's grace, everything turned out well. I was well...very happy with one thing that was said =p
Regardless whether it's true or not, it really did made my day...But deep inside, I do hope it's true....All things will be reveal in time...
Take care =)
Today before the test had to go for 2 talks. One on hospice, the other was an exit briefing.
The 1st one brought back some memories...It was sad. The memories just came, and it really made me feel like crying. But as usual, I'm good at controlling. It was sad...maybe I still haven't let go like I thought I did but the past is the past. Sometimes I wish I can just be well...cold and heartless...to take things as they are and throw it down without looking back. I know of someone who can do that, but lol, I can't. A friend told me, that it isn't a good thing, and I should be proud I'm not like that. So even though it isn't a good thing...It can definately save me alot of heartaches. LOL, coz I will be heartless.
Recently somethings happen. It took me alot of courage. But by god's grace, everything turned out well. I was well...very happy with one thing that was said =p
Regardless whether it's true or not, it really did made my day...But deep inside, I do hope it's true....All things will be reveal in time...
Take care =)
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