It's been a VERY long time since I last blog. I know and I'm sorry but I'm not a regular, I just do it when the mood is right, the feel is right and I am absolutely bursting from all the emotions I feel, then, I will blog.
1st thing first, school started again. 3rd year, last semester. It's going to be a fast and short one. Soon, we will all be leaving school. During this 3 years, I have had many friends. I watched as some of my friends take a turn for the better, and some, for the worse. I've seen drama and fakes, and I've seen truth and genuine true friendship. The choices that some of my friends are doing now, the way they are hanging out...I just don't seem to know them anymore. Our friendship is hanging on a very very thin thread now, and I know it will be gone really soon. Who will do the snip-snap on the thread? I got a feeling I will be the one. And I know that many will blame me too...but I'm not one that maintains communication, in fact I sucks at communication. But looking at the way they are behaving, maybe it will be better off. I have also seen good friendship. I'm glad I finally found one true friend whom I can really turn and relay on for most things, and I strive to do the same for her too.
This past few days, I have been very upset. All the negative emotions just seem to whelm up in there. Change is inevitable in life, though humans dislike it. I always tried my best to be there for her, I always thought of her as one of my best friends, and I thought she thought of me that way too. But only recently, I found out what a fool I have been. I was well, kinda disappointed with her. I don't want to go into details about it. I just...feel hurt. I wonder is it the tougher a person seem on the outside, the more vulnerable that person is inside? Let's just say I really learn it now. This isn't the 1st time.
Another part of the negative feelings was from the things my that 'best' friend said to me. After I thought about it, I got jealousy, anger, sadness, loneliness, and a sense of unfairness. I was thinking why is this world so unfair? Why is it always me alone? YH told me not to worry, that it will come one day. Jesus helped me too, he gave me his peace, so no troubled heart =) so I'm pretty much ok now. But sometimes when I think about it, I just feel so...haiz... I guess I just need to really really cry it all out. But the problem is, I can't cry. I feel like crying but I can't, it just won't come out...Maybe I just need someone to hurt me more...I'm sure it won't be a problem.
Anyway, of coz I've been through some happy things like for e.g: yesterday yh got a perfect bug, we went and abused the bug and I earned 100k+...muhahaha.
ok, that's all folks. If you don't understand or feel confused, don't be. Coz in life, Ignorance is a blessing =)
