Whatever...

I am so very disappointed. How many times have I helped her along the way. Now all I am asking is that she accompany me to school to study and she's reacting like I asked her to take drugs or commit suicide. Thousands of excuses...what "good" friends I have.

True, she's got her distinction to take and I've got my shit to take right?!? People got distinction and I've got a pile of rubblish. Nothing to say. Anyway, loneliness is something I've gotten used to although I don't like it. Maybe I'm destined to be alone all my life, and I don't give a damn. It's a good time now to say the "F" word but it's a good thing I don't or the whole entry will be filled with that word.

Anyway, Being forced has never made anyone happy. So, from now onwards, She'll go her way and I'll go my way. She'll pick her distinctions and A's, while I get my rubbish and shits. She'll go with her sweet dopey huge group of friends and I'll go with my own shadow. Complain to the rest, tell the rest, I don't care. Tell them I got attitude, tell them I'm acting like Joanna. Tell them I'm trying to waste your precious time and trying to rid you of your distinctions and A's. Be the poor little, tiny, innocent never guilty girl that you have always been and I'll be the big,baddie,meanie fellow I have always been. Tell them say I'm trying to force you to do something that you don't want for my own happiness. Whatever... I no longer care. Don't care if I die tomorrow or whatever. Whatever, I no longer give a damn.

Hi, research methods results came out in the afternoon (finally!!!). I'm glad to say I didn not fail and got a C. My Empress got an A. Trust me, I'm not talking to her liao ;p

I just heard that one of my friend, Jian Hao, confessed to his mother that he is a christian. Naturally, his mother was very unhappy. Though he didn't say that he was sad, I know how he feels. The only difference is that I lack the courage to say. I know my mother. If she just chase me out of the house, that's consider light. For heavy penalty, link these words together.
Anger-> Knife-> Casket-> Heaven.

Sometimes, I just don't understand where the whole problem lies. Why can't they accept? Since young, I knew... I knew I didn't belong in the temple. My whole life, I've long to enter the church. My first time was when my (one and only christian) uncle got married. After that time, the only church I went to was the Nativity church near my sec school. Over time in poly, I sneaked into New Creation Church a couple of times, and that's all. I have never felt any "feeling/s" in the temple but the church is so different. How nice if I was born into a christian family. One who is born into a christian family will never understand. Never.

Maybe one day, I may gather the courage. Maybe one day, when I am finally independent, I will say. Then, I will not need to worry about anything. But deep inside, I have a wish... only God knows and I know. And that may be the real reason why I have not said...

Father, I have not forgotten the dream you blessed me with that night. When the time finally arrives, we will all kneel infront of you and tears of gratitude and happiness will be shed, our hearts soaring and filled with longing...for that day will come, in your time. Amen.

19/10

Exams are coming but I just don't seem to be studying so much...what a naughty girl right?!

Anyway, BCLS theory test results came out, and I passed. Finished my BCLS practical yesterday and I passed too. Thank God. Hurt my little finger and my knees are like aching from all that "Re-sus". Research method presentation is over for me too, so, I am kinda free. Yeah :)

Did a debate last week, and it was kinda terrifying but then, got over it. Oh yes, got the best speaker award in my grp.

Better go now. See you laterz.

Another Day

I just went and take a look at my bio practical and I got a C. 60-65%. Not too bad for someone who studied last minute actually maybe didn't even study much. Oh well, thank God I passed...so afraid I will fail... Sarah happy lor...Got B+ :p. Hope I can pass my few other papers...

~5/10/2005 - 6/10/2005~

Left quite sudden the last time didn't I? Coz must rush for lecture. Well, glad to say everyone pass their second attempt for those who must retake. Went specially back to school for moral support for those retaking. Must have been out of my mind.

Anyway, I really can't stand someone now....to the extend where I don't even want to talk to her anymore. Not even a glance. It's a long story...really long. But no choice, she just refuses to join someone else. Haiz. Don't want to talk...later at night sleep also dream about her *yucks*

Yesterday, went to seoul garden with char, yung hwui, sarah, yi wei, wang qiong and jian hao. Never realized how "naughty" yiwei can be until yesterday. And poor jian hao, let us "bully" until...haiz...

Got a debate and research methods ICA next week, BCLS theory and practical next week monday... wonder when the holidays are coming...

Re~Lax

Yoz, I finish my assessment for my clinical on Friday. Thank God I passed and thank God I got SC Insulin and IV INFUSION PUMP. Easy man. Was so worried that I would get assessment for lungs and thorax. Got to get going for lecture now. Bye~